I’d like to start utilizing my blog more beyond it being just a writing blog because let’s be honest: I’m too busy to update this whenever I have a drabble to post (because I don’t have time to write them) or whenever I have something profound to say about writing (I don’t).
For a long time, this space was sort of a silent accusatory finger telling me that I wasn’t writing enough, and I’m tired of feeling that way.
I don’t know what this blog will be but I know it can’t grow and figure itself out stuffed in a corner somewhere untouched.
What I’ve Been Watching
I’ve been watching a lot of Star Wars. I bought the blu ray special version of the first six when I was working a ton of overtime, and I watched them in the orders of four, five, one, two, three, six in preparation for The Force Awakens.
I am one of those people who un-ironically love the prequels so it was money well spent, especially since I’ve watched them twice in the space of three months.
Star Wars was my first love as a child, and The Force Awakens did not disappoint. It also helped break my writing funk as it’s inspired me to write some fan fiction and some mini metas of the Clone Wars since I’ve also started to re-watch that series to help tide me over until Rogue One.
I doubt I’ll write a film review (or my amateur attempts at a review) for Force Awakens because I love it too much. Is it flawed? Yeah it is, but I still love it. It was like saying hello to an old friend I haven’t seen in a long time.
What I’ve Been Reading
I’ve also been reading a lot of Star Wars. I read Before the Awakening and loved it. I am also extremely tempted to read the novelization of the Force Awakens but I am not a huge fan of the author. I’ve read several of his other Star Wars books and found them wanting.
I also want to start reading the comics. I’ve seen panels of them online and they just seem so good. They are definitely on my reading list.
My non Star Wars reading includes the Price of Salt because I also watched Carol and loved it. And besides, who doesn’t want to be reading about women who love each other?
What I’ve Been Writing
I finished the draft I want to submit for the Star Trek Fan Fiction contest, which is due in five days. I was hoping to have it finished earlier so I wouldn’t be submitting it close to the last minute, but it is what it is.
It’s not something I’m particularly happy with beyond the satisfaction of finishing something, but I’ll be submitting it even if I’m not happy with it because you never know. They might see something that I don’t see. I don’t want to get in the habit of not doing something just because it doesn’t reach my usually unreachable standards. I want to start living a life of action, in that I actually do things not that everything is very exciting, instead of just sitting back making distressed noises in the back of my throat.
I’ve also been writing some Star Wars Fan Fiction to absolutely no one’s surprise. Hey, I want to write tie-in novels it’s good practice.
What’s The Personal Sitch
I was seeing a girl for a while but I am not sure where that is going. I don’t know how often I should be texting her so I think I’m coming off as cool and aloof. I’m not really sure what to do about that either as I don’t want to come off as needy and clinging. Every time we talk we talk about her (which is fine but there’s only so much to be said). I want to talk to her about Star Wars and I want to keep watching Nikita with her which is how we first started seeing each other but that has fizzled. She wants to talk a lot and I don’t have the energy or the emotional depth for a lot of talking.
I interviewed for a job at my current work place in a different department that I have been attempting to reach for the last two years. Were I to be hired, it would be a huge pay raise, it would get me out of customer service, and I would feel I was finally at least financially secure and independent.
I want this job very badly. It would give me the peace of mind to really devote to my writing instead of ending each day exhausted and drained from the perpetual “need” I experience in my current position.
I want this so badly and I am so scared I won’t get it.
So that’s where I am right now. No matter what happens though, I want to restructure and re-prioritize my life so that my personal wellbeing takes front and center. I’m hoping once I get that sorted out, the writing will get easier and a little more prolific than it is currently being.